Loving Yourself on Valentine’s Day: A Guide for V-Day Haters

There are two infamous ways a lot of people view Valentine’s Day, and I’m assuming you fall under one of these categories (or did at one point in your life) if you’re reading this now:

  1. Valentine’s Day is a holiday created for consumers so they blow money, spike February numbers for businesses, and create a bunch of pointless hype in general.
  2. Valentine’s Day sucks because I’m not in a relationship/single and screw everyone else.

I get it. I truly do but hear me out. Valentine’s Day has and always will be one of my favorite holidays–even when I’ve been single and even when I don’t spend a solitary dime on the holiday.

ou: Okay, you’re a glossy-eyed, unicorn-loving idiot, but I’ll bite. Why?

Well, just like there are two reasons most people hate the holiday there are also two reasons I find joy in one of the least legitimate yet still most recognized holidays. 1. I can make it about myself, pamper myself, enjoy me, or 2. I can make it about someone I care about or someone who needs a pick-me-up–and no, that doesn’t always mean it has to be a significant other!

And if you’re that person who hates Valentine’s Day each and every year, I’m going to give you ideas to actually make your day enjoyable–even if you’d rather pull the covers over your head and pretend it didn’t exist at all.


Stop Making Valentine’s Day About Other People

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love. And if you’re any kind of connected with yourself or have ever learned anything about psychology 101, you know that in order to love someone else you must first love yourself. So, why does everyone make Valentine’s Day about other people when you can actually use the holiday to your advantage?

If you’re not with someone special, if you’re bitter, if you can’t justify blowing money or if you simply just don’t like the idea of focusing all your attention on another person, use Valentine’s Day to show yourself some love.

It doesn’t have to be anything huge–sleep in, take a bath, get a pedicure, call someone you’ve been wanting to chat with instead of doing something on your to-do list, go for a walk or just watch Netflix all day and drink wine. I don’t care what you choose to do or what you enjoy doing, but use the day to do something you love.

Use Valentine’s Day to ‘Pay it Forward’

Again, Valentine’s Day is about showing love. And one thing that always makes me feel great inside is doing something completely selfless and sometimes totally anonymous for someone else.

If you have a friend or co-worker who’s had a bad year/month/week, send them flowers, buy them a gift card or leave them a kind note. If there’s a family member that’s had a rough go, visit them or send them a gift.

Pay it forward to your mailman, garbage person, babysitter, a nurse, etc. by leaving them something special.

Or one of my favorites is honestly to observe those around me or go somewhere you know people aren’t having the best time (hospitals, nursing homes, clinics, etc.) and do something unthinkable for them … or just sit down and have a conversation.

Throw an Anti-Valentine’s Day Party

If you’re just in an ‘I need to smash someone’s face in mood,’ throw an anti-VDay party. Pin the tail on the ex-boyfriend, a personal piñata you can smash into a million candy pieces, or just a ridiculously, anti-love-themed party you can enjoy with all your single friends.

There’s no shame in poking fun at a holiday that may not bring you great feelings at the moment. Sometimes comedy is the best medicine for a bad day, broken heart, or lingering grudge. Create some ‘love poison’ cocktails, make cupcakes with broken hearts on them, invite over those around you who share your distaste for Valentine’s Day, and enjoy.

Grab a Friend and Enjoy Valentine’s Day Perks

Sometimes you just want to celebrate Valentine’s Day but feel like you can’t. The truth is there’s always an away.

If your significant other isn’t available or you’re happy being solo, why not grab a friend and take advantage of Valentine’s Day deals? A large portion of restaurants has special meals and discounts while local businesses and organizations take advantage of the day by hosting free events or providing awesome deals.

Find someone to go enjoy all of those Valentine’s Day perks with even if you’re not necessarily into the holiday.

One of my personal favorites in the Kansas City area is Afentra’s VD Party, and I’m sure if your city is as awesome as mine, you can find something equally as enjoyable.

And even if you don’t feel like going out, invite a friend over to watch movies and eat pizza. Although it almost never happens (and maybe because it is so rare) that is one of the most therapeutic, no-hassle ways to enjoy a day to yourself or with friends.

What’s Valentine’s Day experience you’ll always remember? Or share why you love or hate Valentine’s Day in the comments…

Published on Updated on 15 April 2022

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