Why “Me-Time” is Bullshit

“Me-time” is complete bull, but not for any of the reasons you may think. Yes, mothers should have time to themselves. I would even argue that it’s a necessity if we want to maintain some amount of sanity. It’s how we view what me-time is that needs to change.

Yes, me-time is the time we as mothers need alone to relax and just be (whatever that may be, individually), but it should also be taken into account that we still need to do the basic things to take care of ourselves mentally and physically that came much easier before kids. And often, unfortunately, that’s the first thing that goes out the door when we have children. So, on top of the time we want to relax, we also need to stop throwing out our needs and cutting out our me-time just because we’re not viewing general upkeep and self improvement as me-time, too.

Since kids, I often go months between getting my eyebrows waxed, years between haircuts and probably even longer than that wearing yoga pants with a hole in them.

Why Me-Time is Bullshit

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I once put off buying razors for five months, FIVE months, and was basically running a piece of plastic up my legs in the meantime. During those same five months, plus about seven or so other months, I also managed to neglect buying myself mousse. And every single morning I actually had time to take a shower but not enough time to do something with my hair, I just sported a lion’s mane all day and thought, “Hmm, I really need to get some freaking mousse.”

So when I asked myself what exactly me-time is, while sifting through the cliché New Year’s resolutions I wanted to attempt, I didn’t know. I pictured myself sitting in a chair, scrolling through Facebook on my phone uninterrupted as my me-time, but the truth is: if that’s the only thing I consider me-time, it’s not helping anyone, especially me.

Even though I’ve always been adamant about having me-time, the basic things that should be happening to merely take care of me still weren’t getting done, and that’s inexcusable bullshit. So, instead of telling myself to utilize me-time this year, I forced myself to reevaluate what me-time really means. And here’s what I came up with:

Me-time is… doing things that will benefit and grow who I am as a person instead of just finding the most mindless thing available and doing a bunch of nothing. Instead, I should do things I enjoy in peace, like read a book or listen to an educational podcast and turn the TV off sometimes.

Me-time is… making sure that I have weekly, monthly and yearly appointments scheduled and in our family calendar so that I’m no longer going two years without a trim or shaking my head at my eyebrows every time I put on makeup in the visor mirror.

Me-time is… taking a class or going to a session, whether it be intellectual, physical or otherwise, because even though it may seem like more work, it’s work I’m choosing to further myself and my interests.

Me-time is… turning off my flipping phone every once in a while. Because my life should never be fully encompassed by work emails, Facebook feeds and texts.

Me-time is… taking the extra time and effort to make real food and consciously making healthier choices, even if that means taking time away from other areas in my life, because if I don’t take care of the actual me, there won’t be one left.

Me-time is… finishing that project I started weeks ago because even though that may also seem like more work, there’s really not many feelings that beat finishing a project. Plus, it’s helping me out in the long run, which is exactly what me-time should accomplish.

Me-time is… still, of course, Netflix binging or drinking an entire bottle of wine with a friend while reminiscing about old times (or bitching about present times), because life is about balance and moderation. As long as I’m using me-time to make sure I’m taking care of me on a basic-needs level and a relaxation level, it’s more than okay to just let loose from me-time to me-time.

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24 thoughts on “Why “Me-Time” is Bullshit

  1. I love this post.. and yes I agree that ‘me’ time isn’t just lazy time! While veg out time is important, keeping myself feeling good and SANE is just as important. 🙂

  2. You have an interesting take on me time. I agree with some of it, but I know that for me, me time – and the time that I need to make me feel better – is alone time. Period. If it’s in the shower – alone (which rarely happens) I am taking it. I need that quiet and alone time to gather myself. I’m happy if I can even leave the house to run an errand by myself (another rare thing) and blast the radio on MY station to sing along to. Alone. Without screaming children in the background.

    Whether we agree on what me time is, the main point is that it is important that everyone have me time. I hope you find some me time this year!

    1. I 100% agree. Thanks for pointing that out, Leila!

      As a whole, I’m striving to get across that yes, me-time is the time we as mothers need alone and to relax and just be (whatever that may be, individually), but it should also be taken into account that (if we want) we still need to do the basic things to take care of ourselves mentally and physically. And often, unfortunately, that’s the first thing that goes out the door when we have children. So, on top of the time we want to relax, we also need to stop throwing out our needs and make sure we’re not cutting out our me-time just because we’re not viewing general upkeep and self improvement as me-time, too!

  3. Yes very true, and sometimes you can even have me time with your monsters around. I haven’t cut my hair in years, my yoga pants also have holes, and its been at least three months since I got my bush man eyebrows done. Guess I know what I need to do next!

  4. Ah, such a great post! I agree, me-time is about taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally, physically — every way! I set myself reminders to make doctor’s appointments, or better yet, do it at the end of the appointment, so I make sure it happens. I make dates with friends, catch up on tv shows, and read books. It’s definitely more challenging to do, but it’s so vital.

  5. I wrote an article very similar to this last year! I am notorious for not making follow-up appointments for my hair coloring, and I wind up having a dark highway down my head. Me-Time is a necessity for sure!

  6. I love this, and it’s so true. My me time is working out at the gym, and shopping by myself at Target, so I can actually remember what we need. Appointment setting is a great idea. I can’t remember the last time I got a haircut.

  7. Omg yes!!! I’m one of the most high maintenance girls you will ever meat and I can tell you that me after kids bahahahaba….. The things I put off or don’t even worry about these days would probably worry those close to me if they knew lol….

  8. I love this so much! “Me” time shouldn’t just be about being lazy. It’s actually getting out of the house to do something for ourselves. Amazing post:)

  9. I love this post and agree with your point of view, 100%. While some laziness is appreciated on my end, me time usually allows me to enjoy something that is life giving. Something that helps me grow as a person, which in returns makes me a better wife and mother.

  10. Love this! I think it is so important to do things that rejuvenate me, that fills me up. It is so much more than just watching tv (though that is totally still going to happen!

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