To the new mom who was bullied by "the girls" for posting photos of her baby…

…this one’s for you.

I am in no way going to pretend like some Facebook posts don’t annoy me. We all have those eyes-roll-to-the-back-of-our-head people posters on our friend list. Guess what? You can unfollow them, save your eye rolls and continue scrolling your timeline in peace. There’s no excuse for lashing out or bullying others for posting what they want on their own personal accounts.

No one deserves to be bullied, especially as a new mother. We have enough on our plates with lack of sleep, tears, hormones, diapers, spit-up and anything else life throws our way. For Jade Ruthven, new mom to 6-month-old Addison, “the girls” decided to throw a nasty letter her way to let her know how much her new babe was inconveniencing their lives:


A letter from “the girls” to Jade.

I’d like to respond to that letter. Not because Jade hasn’t done a wonderful job of confronting it head on–considering it’s gone viral–but because I’d also like to let “the girls” know that they’re “pissing a lot of people off.” So here it goes…

Dear “the girls,”

So glad you were able to take time away from your kids to let Jade know you are “SO OVER” the running commentary of her life on Facebook.

From your letter, I couldn’t tell if you were aware of what Facebook is, so let me share. Facebook is a running commentary of people’s lives. If you’re SO OVER that, you probably shouldn’t participate in Facebook.

I’m unsure if any of “the girls” work, but maybe you can all find other things to do with your time besides scroll through Facebook if it annoys you that much.

It’s awesome that your kids are great too. A great place to share that is on Facebook.

If you’re uninterested in what Jade and Addy (or anyone for that matter) are up to, there are a couple quick and simple options you may be unaware of available on Facebook. If there are posts, photos or updates from a “friend” that you don’t like or agree with, you have the option to click the unfollow button. This means you will no longer see any of their updates unless you seek them out yourself. If you no longer want to be Facebook friends with someone, you can also unfriend them. Along with no longer seeing their updates, this also means you are generally unable to seek them out as well.

As long as a person’s posts and photos remain within Facebook’s guidelines–which can be found here–”the girls” do not have the authority to control what others do or do not post on their personal accounts.

I’m writing this to let you know what people really think.

Thanks for reading. I’d love to hear how you feel about “the girls” letter to Jade.

19 thoughts on “To the new mom who was bullied by "the girls" for posting photos of her baby…

    1. Exactly! I’m sure we all annoy people with something we post whether it’s kids, photos, check-ins, whatever, but the beauty of Facebook is we can post what we want to post! And when I’m annoyed by something or someone, I just unfollow their updates. No reason for hate!

  1. I shared the letter the other day. Anything I can do to help it continue to go viral. This was a great letter to “the girls”, although, it may have been too nice. They may not understand your kind explaination. But you are doing right in not stooping to their level which I must commend. I’m pretty sure I would not have been as nice.

    1. Thank you! I feel like my subtle but pointed jabs at their complete ridiculousness is confrontational and firm enough to make them feel ashamed and warm in the face–because that’s what happens to me when I’m called out. Also, because what “the girls” did is categorized as bullying, I didn’t want to hypocritically respond with more bullying … just facts … and obvious yet refined responses to the holes and meanness in their letter. Sometimes, I feel like that delivers more of a slap to the face than blowing up, but I felt the same as you at first as well!

      1. You are so right. Which is why it’s good you wrote the letter instead of me. I tend to let my emotions take a front seat sometimes. For something like this, I would have to write a response, wait a few days, then edit it. Because then I would have a more logical approach. I would love it if these women saw your response. I’m sure they feel pretty foolish!

      2. Oh, I’m sure. How just plain dumb. Who takes the time to sit down and type a letter about how annoyed they are over a new mom posting photos of her baby when they could just unfollow her posts?! Has to be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen. And if it was a group of girls, did not one of them have the idea to bring up unfollowing her posts or that it’s someone else’s personal page–they can post whatever they want–or even that she’s probably pumped to have a NEWBORN BABY. Ha! People, sometimes.

  2. The points you bring up about how FB works, and the easy options people have if they aren’t enjoying what’s in their feed, are right on. I’ve thought this so many times – it doesn’t make sense why they get in an uproar – unfollow or unfriend. And, truth be told, people tend to complain about things they could actually do something about, even if it simply means adjusting their attitude! 😉

    1. Exactly! Same goes for the ‘stop with the game requests’ angry statuses. Games send requests without users’ permission. All people have to do is block the game or people’s invites in their settings. So simple!

  3. Well said. I can’t stand unsupportive women. I feel like when you become a mother, survive labor, and sleepless nights, shouldn’t we all be on the same team. So what if she posts a ton if pics, she is a proud loving mom. Get over it ladies or unfriend.

  4. This is the first time I have seen the letter and let me say… I Love your Response!!! Shame on those girls for being so nasty!! I can’t imagine how she felt when she first saw that letter. That people were talking about her behind her back like that. SO rude and like you stated unnecessary!!!

    1. Right! First off, I don’t think she asked for their input, and second, if she had, how about giving productive suggestions instead of tearing her down! For example, a friend could suggest a blog or a Facebook page that people could follow for all of her family stories. And if she likes them on her FB page, it’s her page and her choice!

  5. SO well said!!!! I’m glad you put it into words. —Notice your letter didn’t start with “Dear Friends” (as they didn’t sign it friends). Huge red flag.

  6. Wow, I haven’t seen this! I’m kind of flabbergasted that someone would ever, EVER write something like this. It’s so unkind. I wish people had less time on their hands. 🙂 I love your response – not only is it nice, but it’s to the point. Perfect.

  7. Well said! Sometimes I even wonder if that letter was real.. maybe since I work in news I am such a cynic.. but I always think these random letter things are made up. It is horrible though if it is true.

  8. Love your response. You weren’t overly nasty or anything like that, to the point, concise and honest.

    I worry that I will upset other folks with what I share on Facebook. And, I’ll be honest, sometimes, people do tend to overshare. But I have either unfollowed those folks, or simply keep on scrolling through. To anonymously write someone a letter….how in the world did they think that would go over well? Just because they didn’t *sign* it, they thought that they were being helpful and that things would go back to normal??

    Can’t even. Just can’t. If only we all knew Jade and could invite her over for a cup of coffee!

    Great post!

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