Forever Young

To all the mamas that are exhausted and can’t wait to get through the newborn stage,

When my daughter was a baby, I couldn’t wait to watch her grow up. Not only because I was excited for her to interact with us or to hear her talk for the first time or watch her take her first steps but also because I wished I could get some of my independence back.

I couldn’t wait until she didn’t need to be held to fall asleep. I couldn’t wait until I didn’t have to get up all hours of the night. I couldn’t wait until she didn’t need me to drop what I was doing when her only way to communicate was to cry. I couldn’t wait until I didn’t have to spoon feed her every bite of baby food. I couldn’t wait until I didn’t have to carry her (or her carseat) everywhere.

I now realize how foolish that was.

Little did I know, that also meant she wouldn’t want me to carry her anywhere. She wouldn’t want me to help her eat anything. She wouldn’t always want ‘mama’ when she woke up from a nap or scraped her knee. She would never want to stop talking. She wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night and I would miss that time together as the only two people awake in the world. She wouldn’t want to be held anymore.

She is no longer completely dependent on me.

I never realized how fast the days went by. I never noticed she was growing up right in front of my face.

Then one day, she walked into our house with ‘dada’ and carried me a hot coffee, smiling and giddy–as if to say, “Look mom, look at what I can do. I’m almost a grown woman.” And she almost was. I know it only gets more bittersweet from here on.

Last night, my sister-in-law told me of all the crazy, exhausting things her teenage boy was up to that weekend–eating and playing and enjoying his friends as his own person, growing up. She said to kiss our son for her.

So, I kissed our two-month old son, who is currently 100% dependent on me, as he slept soundly and this time, knew that I could wait forever for him to grow up.

This time, I notice every inch he grows and cherish every moment I can hold him without him struggling to wiggle out of my arms and prance away. I want it to slow down.

This time, I only wish he’d stay forever young.

Sibling love

15 thoughts on “Forever Young

  1. Your experience matches mine very closely. I was in a hurry with my oldest as well. I just wanted to get to the next level with her or something. I couldn’t wait for things to happen!!! With my second child, I was a little less anxious for the milestones but because he was a boy (and I grew up with three sisters), I was still really wanting to see the change from little baby to little boy to big boy. Kwim?
    Now, with Samuel, I almost don’t want him to grow up! I’m quite happy to have him stay little. <3

  2. It’s so true that with your second you want to hold on to each moment so much more fiercely than you did with your first. With your first even though you enjoy every moment, you can’t wait for what’s next. With the second, you know how fleeting it all is. Your children are adorable, by the way. Great post!

    1. Exactly. It’s definitely not that we don’t enjoy every moment with our first; we’re just so busy focusing on what’s next, I don’t think we realize how much we’ll miss the first few months. Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed the post.

  3. What a sweet reminder to cherish our little ones! It’s easy to get caught up with all the things on my plate, but I know I need to stop often and savor moments with my children.

    1. Thank you! It is so easy to get caught up in everything else going on, and next thing you know, you blink and it’s been a year. I needed the reminder as well–definitely part of where the inspiration for the post came from :).

  4. Such sweet, and bittersweet, thoughts! We are definitely in the “I don’t need you as much if at all” stage. And I love those rare tired or emotional moments when my daughter once again just needs her mom. After all, I am in my 30’s and still have those moments too!!

    1. It really is bittersweet. I can’t say I ever expected that until my daughter reached an age where she started doing things that made me both happy and sad that she’s growing up. With my oldest, I also have to wait for those rare tired or sick moments where she wants to be held or needs mom.

  5. Reblogged this on Humble Heart Scribbles and commented:
    I loved this post – I can relate to it so much. Thesedays I do try as much as possible to savour each moment with my 3 year old son – he is growing up WAY too fast! There were times in the difficult days (when he wouldn’t sleep much and screamed/ cried for hours) but I would do it again in a heartbeat just to keep him “forever young” 🙂

  6. I actually wrote a post like this several months ago. I can completely relate to this. Throughout my life, I have always been waiting for that next stage, that next vacation, that next great event. As these past 2 1/2 years have flown by, I have realized how quickly it is all slipping away. I am at the point where I wish I could freeze time. Let her stay this way just a little longer.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *